Sixty Days, Plus Two

Sixty-two days ago I promised you a 60-day update, and then promptly forgot about it. (Thanks, Fond du Lac Joe for the gentle reminder.) So here I am, at 6:30 on a Sunday morning, meeting my agreement.

Earlier this week one of my clients called me out about breaking agreements. He was really very sweet about it, and super helpful, but I was still embarrassed, like he accidentally saw me naked. It's my dirty little not-so-secret, secret: I don't finish things on time. Or, I haven't in the past. I'm working on fixing that.

It's not that I'm a lazy ass, or can't be bothered. And it's not like I intentionally make promises I know I can't keep. The cause of my recurring inability to meet deadlines is a crazy cocktail of 1) wanting to please people, and so setting deadlines that will be virtually impossible to meet, 2) wanting it to be perfect, and so taking way too long to finish, 3) refusing to ask for help, and 4) paralysis due to overwhelm as a result of 1, 2 and 3.

And, considering I still haven't figured out how to kick this problem to the curb, I would say there's probably a secret ingredient in there, too.

Which brings me to my 62-day update. You probably already figured out I've spent most of time trying to finish work for my clients. But, despite the fact that I haven't worked on my own stuff every day, I have made some progress. I've read several books related to my projects, I've lined up an editor for one of my projects and I managed to bang out a few pages for both projects. Not bad.

Deadlines are important, but I'm coming to understand that delivery dates are not as important as staying engaged in the process and letting go of expectations that cause inertia. Another client of mine told me recently, "You're the best. Just tell them they'll get it when they get it." I'm not sure my Midwestern work ethic will ever let me say that, but I can at least give myself some breathing room when I make promises, which will help me stay the course.

It's no surprise that the agreements I break most often are to myself. This list is long, too long. I've been promising myself I would fix up my office for four years. Yes, four years. So today, I'm writing and working on my office with my assistant. We're taking it apart and putting it back together again so that I can write in a harmonious, inspiring environment, instead of surrounded by stacks of papers, taller than me. If I'm brave enough, I'll post pictures.

Happy week, all.