I'm already thinking about January, 2011. That's when I'm free to work on new projects.
I like a full dance card. Yet, here I am, pushing 40, and I still haven't come into my own. Colin, the writer I hired to kick my ass (like a personal trainer, but not), keeps asking, "Any word from the screenwriter?" He's right to ask refer to that other me, the one that rarely comes out to play, as a different person--a person who lives, far, far away...and doesn't talk much.
That other me can't seem to finish any new pages, let alone an entire project. That other me used to write stuff for the sheer joy of it. That other me has been out of commission for a long time.
Tonight Page asked me if I ever plan to write my own stuff, and it actually hurt to answer her. "Sure, when I have the time."
I was hoping me and that other me would reconnect on this vacation, but I think it's going to take more than a few days off the grid to pull that off. Maybe this it. Maybe I write books for other people and that's okay. Maybe that's enough.
Maybe not.
Probably not.
Definitely not.
As my good friend and colleague Erik says, "Well."
1 comments:
Hi Annie,
I just sent off Jack's video, and I'm sitting in the loft listening to beautiful music on MPR, watching a rain squall make its way across the lake, and thinking about your writing. Listening to evocative music helps me think about writing, though I don't do it. Perhaps it would be a help to you. And perhaps you could send something you have been writing in the non-work phase. I'd love to see and read.
Don't worry about the time. It will come. Now you have much to do that is good for you and your family and the people you serve. We must take satisfaction from doing much with what we have.
Peace and Love, Warren
P.S. I like the picture of Jack. I hope he will become a "lake boy".
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