It's No Big Deal

It wasn't a nice thing to do, moving to New York.

When Jack was eleven weeks old we traded in our big couch for a smaller version, packed up the rest of our crap, and moved to a brownstone in Brooklyn, leaving behind seven grandparents and a whole posse who had seen us through the conception, pregnancy, and difficult birth.

It wasn't the smartest thing to do, either. We had a decent life in Minnesota. Good friends, a cheap rental, built-in community--and babysitters. On paper moving to New York was the stupidest thing we could have done, but we did it anyway. We moved because we were creating a new family, one that included a Daddy for Jack and a co-parent for us, our good friend Patrick.


And we did it because we wanted to raise our kid in a place where the "gay thing" is no big deal.

Despite my best efforts, I've never really been a conventional kind of girl. For better or worse, I'm more apt to forge a new path than follow one. I would be more than happy to blaze a trail for diversity and equality, but what about my kid?

I want him to grow up in a place where he doesn't have to defend or explain his family on a regular basis. If he wants to be a pioneer when he grows up, so be it. But right now I just want him to be a kid. He'll always be different than most people because of his parents, but growing up in Minnesota he would have been acutely aware of those differences.

Here in New York, it's no big deal. Jack's friends ask their parents why they can't have two moms, too. No one asks us inappropriate questions or makes ridiculous assumptions. Jack is a social butterfly, with friends from all backgrounds. Not one of their parents ever even batted an eye at our family, let alone passed judgment on our "lifestyle."


Now living in Nyack, I cannot tell you how amazing it is to be part of such an accepting, loving community--one that encompasses all of our neighbors, not just a group of like-minded individuals.

In the New York Times yesterday, another story about why in our adopted home state, it's no big deal. Reading it this morning brightened my mood considerably.

It may not have been nice and it may not have been smart, but moving to New York was the best move we ever made.